Introducing the most annoying people on the planet

“Eleh tiba-tiba je pakai tudung. Hipocrite jew. Nak tunjuk baik lettew euw euw.”

“Isy minah ni, muka monyok macam mengkudu kecut. Berlagak.”

“Shit. Musim-musim perayaan macam ni lah banyak buat roadblock! Nak cari duit tepi agaknya.”

“Kalau dah pemimpin mereka pun macam ni, orang yang menyokongnya pun sama lah. Masuk neraka semua ni.”

Nampak? Kadang-kadang kita tak sedar pun apa kita cakap. But yes. Kita selalu macam ni kan? Selalu. And we live in a society that judges one another. Bukan sebab kita care for each other, but because we think we are better than others. Tak boleh tipu, there are times I am a bit judgemental too. We all live with preconceived notions of what is right and wrong, and the minute someone or something doesn’t fit our bill of perfection, naaahhh - we become judgmental.

We much rather judge others than look at our own issues. Sedangkan kita sendiri tak sempurna dan banyak kurang. It’s the perfect cover kan. We see someone, and based on their looks/actions, we pass judgment on them. We don’t even bother to get to know these people. We see something they do, and get angry at it, or disappointed with them, or think worse of them. We judge, without understanding - Kenapa dia macam ni? Kenapa apa yang dia fikir tak sama dengan aku? Why she’s like that? Why he’s like this? Sebaliknya kita terus buat kesimpulan. And that’s the end of it.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Nobody likes feeling judged. We don’t like other people feeling so high and mighty as to judge us too. Agree? Thanks. Believe me. By being judgemental, we actually expect people to conform to our way because we think our way is the only correct way (that does not necessarily mean we know better). Please la. Mana boleh kita paksa orang ikut cara kita? Dan macamana kita nak pastikan apa yang kita fikir, itulah yang terbaik? Saya pernah baca satu artikel tentang bagaimana nak hidup aman, tenteram dan bahagia? - Stop Being Judgemental.

So, how to stop or at least make a conscious effort to stop being judgemental as often? Here are some tips.

Give yourself time for a second thought

If u’ve ever been in the situation where u thought someone was a complete idiot (saya selalu), take a pause for thought. It will give u more rounded and fair opinion. Macam kita selalu dengar, put urself in their shoes. Try to imagine their background and try to imagine the circumstances that might have led to the person acting or looking like they do. And once u got to know them a bit better, u may changed ur mind and then u’ll know what I mean.

Just accept them as they are

Tak ada siapa yang sempurna dalam dunia ni, so are u. Tiapkali kita cuba judge orang, ingatkan diri kita “Aku pun tak sempurna.” Belajar terima kekurangan orang lain, dan yang penting, treat others with the same way we want them to treat us. Kita pun mesti tak nak orang suka-suka judge kita the wrong way, betul tak? Maka kita mesti belajar terima orang lain juga, jika kita mahu diri kita diterima.

This can be difficult at first, but if u can train ur mind to accept people and things for who and what they are (instead of who or what they should be), then u’ll be on the right track.

Stop trying to change others

Quite often the judgemental side of us is actually a thinly disguised attempt to change the people around us. We feel that if we’re judgemental often enough then they will change or maybe improve to meet our high standards. Buka mata luas-luas. Kita pun cannot change at whim to meet the different standards of everyone we meet kan? Boleh gitu? Impossible.

Stop being close-minded

Well, let’s not become rigid as a person. Why? Because it might stop u from change and develop urself. Of course, it's good to work out what ur own opinions and tastes are - that's part of becoming a mature individual, and why shouldn't u stick with what u know u like? But come on. It is important to remember we are all diverse and have different lifestyles and reasons for making choices we wouldn't make in our own lives.Hidup ni berwarna-warni. U needs to learn to mix urself around different people with different ‘colour’. Why should u bar urself from interact with people who are different from u? Kan tak seronok kalau semua orang sama? Kan?

Macamana? Dah sedar diri tak yang selama ni kita juga seorang yang judgemental? Apa lagi, jom lah berubah. To be honest, I have been working on becoming non-judgmental for several months now. It is a work in progress. Ya I admit it’s hard. Sebab kita manusia biasa. Tak pernah mahu berhenti dari mencari kesempurnaan. But slowly when u discovers that not everything in the world pleases u, u will strive to avoid those things that u didn't enjoy the first time around. So, good luck. May we all be judgment free and happy always. Love u.

Those who know less, judge more. Those who know more, judge less. - Sayyid Alawi Al Abbas.

 P/s : Entry yang ditulis laju-laju sebab tak sabar nak bedal nasi lemak ayam di tengah malam. Yieehhaaa!